Thursday, November 27, 2008

You Had Better Wake Up

(Blog author's note: I alter this fabulous and perceptive author's titles not out of disrespect, but respect at the unexpected and prescient phrases, themes, and ideas that catch my eye in his brilliant essays)

"Thanksgiving Dinner with Baron Samedi and Al Qaeda in Wonderland

Well, it didn’t take long for Mumbai to get the Al Qaeda fingerprint. Never mind that there is no Al Qaeda, Al Qaeda must have done it. You are all familiar with Al Qaeda. Like The Scarlet Pimpernel, “they seek him here, they seek him there.” But they can’t find him anywhere.

It is a matter of great amazement to me that this Al Qaeda can be anywhere in the world, any time it wants to be and that it can strike at will under the orders of the Baron Samedi redux, Bin Laden, who routinely issues his commands from somewhere under the ground or the world beyond.

There’s never been a more amazing organization than Al Qaeda. They managed to get through ICTS, Israeli security at three U.S. airports and hijack four planes. Then they took two planes and crashed into two buildings in New York City. They did this while flying with a precision that few trained pilots could have achieved, without ever having flown such planes before. Then they managed to level three buildings at the speed of freefall where not even one similar building ever fell before though they burned hotter and longer. They didn’t even need a plane to level one of the buildings. That’s probably another Baron Samedi element and explains all the feathers and chicken blood that covered the streets of NYC in the aftermath.

They’re a talented lot, this Al Qaeda, not only did they knock down three buildings with two planes and cover the city with asbestos flavored, chicken blood and feathers but Mohammed Atta tossed his passport out of the plane in some sort of over the shoulder arabesque, as if Isadora Duncan and Amelia Earhart had merged in a Baron Samedi mind-meld with Bin Laden who was controlling the whole thing via remote viewing from a UFO equipped, space cave in Afghanistan and the passport tumbled through the flames and the smoke and glided like a miniature magic carpet right in front of the feet of a NYC policeman.

Then they slipped right past ICTS, Israeli security again in The Madrid Train station and then slipped past ICTS, Israeli security one more time at the London Tube, right under the nose of Netan-yahoo who was in the hotel above. It has to be magic, there’s no other explanation. It’s not Bin Laden that you’re after, it’s Baron Samedi. It’s not Al Qaeda that you’re looking for; it’s the Scarlet Pimpernel and The Seven Dwarfs.

I’m not going to play with rumors concerning who was behind the Mumbai bombing in 2006. I don’t need rumors when I’ve got real life, science fiction and space invaders from the fifth dimension.

What’s most impressive is how the only Al Qaeda cell ever uncovered managed to replace themselves with Mossad agents moments before they were captured. It’s no wonder that Al Qaeda can be everywhere all of the time. It’s no wonder that they can never be apprehended because they’ve got Baron Samedi as The Tonight Show host with the UFO orchestra and special guests; The Comte De St. Germaine, Apollonius of Tyana and The Wizard of Oz.

There won’t be a home in America today that will not have Al Qaeda sitting there. You won’t see them because they have the power of invisibility but they will be there. Bin Laden will be under the table tickling the children’s feet.

Yes, they’re a canny lot. It seems like there isn’t anything they can’t do. Recent news reports have stated that it’s actually Al Qaeda who is starving the people of Gaza. They shut off the power in Gaza. They made all the medicine disappear. They caused the sewage to overflow into the streets and the latest report is that the Cholera germs are actually tiny Al Qaeda soldiers. It’s also Al Qaeda who turned all the Chinese firecrackers into super rockets and launched them with deft precision into empty lots all over Siderot. As a result Al Qaeda now has a three picture deal and a major book tour out of Al Qaeda controlled Hollywood.

Bin Laden’s going to go public again too. After a long period of time sunning himself on The French Riviera, with the occasional commute to his Xanadu in Pakistan, for a little skiing and snowboarding, he’s contemplating a tour of crowded urban centers somewhere near you. The Alien Grays have outfitted him with a magic coat of many colors and he’s going to be launching dirty bombs with mean guitar licks and hair conditioner, liquid explosives on various airliners all while exposing himself to Catholic high school girls in Flushing, Queens. He was last seen on the roof of Lum’s Chinese Restaurant on Northern Blvd. What a guy!

The global financial meltdown which has only just begun? You got it. Bin Laden is doing that with his Al Qaeda bankers and accountants. The genocide in Western Papua? That’s our boy once again. Bin Laden Samedi and the Magical Mystery Al Qaeda are behind everything, everywhere, all the time and they are accomplishing all of it while being dead, on the one hand …and non existent on the other. It’s as if John Paul Sartre and Steven Hawkings got together with Boddhidarma and MC Hammer for some all galactic version of, “You Can’t Touch This.”

The space time continuum? No problem. Weave-warping the fabric of reality? No problem. Being everywhere you want to be and nowhere that you don’t, while vanishing the minute that security shows up? No problem. Rising from the dead like you’re rising from bed? No problem. Driving a 747 through a sixteen foot hole and leaving no plane parts? No problem. No problem. No problem.

Go back to sleep, little sheep. On this Thanksgiving, I want you to think about what you want for this year's abondanza Christmas. I want you to think about how really close you are to sleeping on a flattened cardboard box outside a boarded up storefront. Go right ahead and pack that extra portion of potatoes and gravy into the bottomless pit of your appetite and add another layer of fat to the denial protection system that has you believing things that cannot possibly be true.

It’s going to get much worse. It is going to continue to get worse as you continue to believe what cannot be true. As long as you pull the comforter of delusion over your head the nightmares are going to get worse. They breed in that environment. They like it there.

When it is time to wake up and you do not wake up, then the means applied to wake you up are going to intensify and intensify until you do wake up. Your real enemies are the people who are pointing your attention in the direction of an imaginary enemy. Your primary, real enemy is your ignorance and obstinacy. Your secondary enemy is the one manipulating both for their profit and entertainment.

You need to realize that what is victimizing you is not just doing it to keep you in fear and to bleed you dry. These agencies and entities enjoy the spectacle of what they are putting you through. When you suffer and place the blame on something that never existed or is long dead, they laugh. You amuse the hell out of them. You had better wake up.

The Clicking Mandibles and The Virgin Sperm Dancer.