Sunday, April 20, 2008

Memory Hole: Let the Boy Feed

(Updated; originally posted April 19, 2007)

Part of my ongoing "Celebrate Life" series.

Just wanted you to see another picture (please enlarge) of
BEAUTIFUL PEOPLEEOPL -- especially the child!

All because "the father of another child complained."

Read if you wish (I did).


"A Houston Fuss Over Breast-Feeding Strikes a Responsive Nerve"

by RALPH BLUMENTHAL

HOUSTON, April 18 — It is an argument that nobody relishes. Not Jessica Mayo-Swimeley, who says that all she wanted to do was breast-feed her 17-month-old twin son Tobin after his surgery for a brain tumor.

And not Ronald McDonald House, which says it did not banish Ms. Mayo-Swimeley to her room to nurse her child.

But no dispute is obscure in the age of the Internet, so what might have been a local, if tearful, standoff has drawn a national spotlight, after Web postings by the aggrieved mother and her sister over an incident last Thursday crashed the Ronald McDonald House Web site in a deluge of recriminations.

Ms. Mayo-Swimeley, 27, an Air Force wife and a homemaker, said a McDonald House manager had admonished her for nursing her son in a lounge after the father of another child complained, and that she was then told to do the nursing in private, in her room, on threat of being evicted.

But Naomi Scott, executive director of Ronald McDonald House in Houston, which provides low-cost lodging for families of gravely ill children, said the charity supported breast-feeding, that Ms. Mayo-Swimeley had been asked only to nurse “more privately” and that she would never have been thrown out.

Both sides called the exchanges “intense” in an environment where family pain produced raw emotions, but agreed there were no villains.

“These are not bad people,” said Melanie Mayo-Laakso, Ms. Mayo-Swimeley’s sister, who joined her here this month for Tobin’s operation and a stay at one of Houston’s three McDonald Houses. “We love Ronald McDonald House.”

But Ms. Mayo-Laakso, who is nursing her 3-year-old daughter, added, “We want to make sure this is not happening to other people.”

After several days in Houston hotels, with their mother and four of their children, including Tobin’s twin brother, Elliot, Ms. Mayo-Swimeley, from San Antonio, and Ms. Mayo-Laakso, 29, from Two Harbors, Minn., arrived at McDonald House on April 4. Tobin underwent a 13-hour operation that day at the nearby M. D. Anderson Cancer Center to remove a slow-growing ganglioma.

Last Thursday about 5 p.m., Ms. Mayo-Swimeley said, she was in a lounge at McDonald House nursing Tobin — discreetly, she said — when she was told of the father’s complaint and was asked “would I please go up to my room.”

“I told her what I knew of Texas law — that it protected breast-feeding,” Ms. Mayo-Swimeley related, and her sister actually ran up to her room to look up the law on her laptop. The law essentially states, “A mother is entitled to breast-feed her baby in any location in which the mother is authorized to be.”

Ms. Mayo-Swimeley said she responded, “No, I don’t want to go into my room.”

After the surgery, Tobin had a second operation to remove a fluid buildup, and, she said, “the only thing that makes him feel better is to nurse.”

Supervisors were unrelenting, she said, adding, “I was crying — I felt we would have to leave.” The next day, she said, McDonald House called her social worker at M. D. Anderson to suggest other lodging if the sisters were unhappy there.

Meanwhile, Ms. Mayo-Laakso posted their account of events on a Web site about mothering, giving the e-mail address and telephone number of McDonald House, which was soon overwhelmed with protests.

On Monday, Ms. Scott and other administrators convened a meeting at McDonald House with the sisters, by then joined by allies including Marcia Lutostanski, a board member of La Leche League, the leading pro-nursing organization.

They agreed that the sisters could nurse in public areas if they were sensitive to others around them. McDonald House would work on clarifying its guidelines, Ms. Scott said.

Asked if the staff might have avoided the confrontation, Ms. Scott said: “It happened so fast, I don’t know what else we could have done. We feel we fell down the rabbit hole with all this.”

Micheline Donnelly, director of development for McDonald House here, said the organization supported breast-feeding. But Ms. Donnelly added, “We don’t advocate for causes; we provide shelter for families who travel far from home and are trying to save their child.”