Monday, April 28, 2008

Questions For God

This is an uplifting, curiously humorous, yet poignantly serious blog post, readers, and it garnishes an A+ rating here:

"Dear God - Most of Us Need to Talk to You About the Few of Us Who are Scaring All of Us"

"Goodmorning God. We gotta talk.

Are you aware of what is going on down here? I mean really, we need some help and I thought it better to email you than just get down on my knees and pray. You've seen me pray over the years, alone in that closet under the eaves in my college dorm at first, and then those sterile little “prayer closets.” I specifically remember asking that you guide me to do this and that right thing, and wow, after all these years, you're idea of guiding and mine were pretty darn far apart. But okay, okay, I defer to letting things unfold as they will and give you the benefit of the doubt. I read that “Footsteps in the Sand” thing and still think that it's possible the other set of prints disappeared, not because you were carrying me, but because you went to the store when I started to tell you how I was feeling.

At any rate, I thought email might be faster and you'd have copy as would I for future reference. So back to my question. Are you aware of what's going on here? Was there some hurricane that re-wiped out the oil rigs that I missed, or did someone turn off the flow of oil, because gas keeps going up a dime a day around here! I can't get it out of my head that we're being “gassed” so to speak by those who do such things. I'm feeling that somehow the Czar is using his time for personal gain and there is no way I am ever going to really know what's going on, so could you help us find out and get us back to a better time. The Czar and Company flying around in Big Bird One scarf up more resources in one trip than me and all my friends combined have used since arriving on the planet. I have done a lot of reading about the Czar and family and do you really think so few should get to take so much from so many over the years? What's with that anyhow...could you please help us out here.

Shhhhhhhhhhh...I have another problem we need help with but I can't say it too loudly. I feel like just talking to you is getting me, well, monitored. I think that someone is watching to see if I use words like “Czar” or “Big Bird One” and , well have you seen those pictures from Abu Gareb! 'As long as I mentioned that, would you please tell those people that we aren't like that and all my friends want Iraqis and Iranians to just enjoy life too and be left alone. In our wildest dreams we would never treat people like that. Hey and all my friends also think that Palestinians deserve a home just like anyone else. Can't those guys check their DNA and find out they are all related or something and stop all that shit? Now of course, we don't want them trying to make us see the world their way and blow us up if we don't, and we will try to stop the jerks on our side of the religious world from thinking they have to convert you guys, but honest, all the real people I know think you are getting hosed for reasons other than the reasons given, which we can't know either. I can't sleep well when I see the pictures of your children and women dead in the name of liberation and freedom for, well, your dead family members. Makes no sense does it? Anyhow, Email is much different than a prayer closet, and I wanted to be sure you got this and I can request a return receipt.

Anyway, back to the shhhhh stuff. Can you help us turn off all the cameras? Man, I feel like I am in the old Russia or Germany of days not long gone by. And what's with those Brits.? They seem to love that camera stuff and I have heard they even want a way to track cars everywhere they go. I know you didn't give us shit for brains, but I have to ask...did you? I read a book in high school by Orwell, and now the book isn't so funny or weird to me. I am feeling like some must have felt a few years before I was born, when some Czar types kept doing things for the “good of the people” and well, you know how that all unfolded. I still need help understanding how so many of us allow so few of us to do so much evil to most of us for so long before most of us tell the few of us to leave us alone and pay back what you took.

Does that make sense? I think that if only 35% of the people even like the few of us that rule the most of us, there should be a “step down” law or something, don't you think? Otherwise it does feel like most of us are being told what to think and do by the few of us, who most of the rest of the us don't even like anymore, if we ever did. Does that make sense? So can you please help us with the camera and shhhhhhhhhhhh stuff so we can get back to feeling safe again? Maybe we need a new Czar Search...ha ha. Little joke there, We had a soap opera that was called...oh you know that, sorry. Well anyway, I'm concerned that we might have more soap operas, like one's called “Looking for all my Children” or “Love Barge” if things keep going on like this. Know what I'm sayin...can you help us out here? Did I ask you if you had seen those Abu Gareb pics?

Anyway, you know I stayed out of politics for decades and things just unfolded as they do without my help I am sure. But I did vote this last time, and well, now most of us wonder if if the few of us discarded the votes of the rest of us like we always felt they must do in those third world countries where the outcome is known before the vote is taken. Wow, is that like clarvoyance or something? Can you help us out on this voting thing cause somehow I feel something is going on? I'm feeling if I vote for purple the machine already knows it only likes the pink or the orange votes and won't listen to me. That's a third world thing right? Why do me and my friends feel this way? I never felt this way before and I don't like it. Nome sayin? Ma

I live here in Jesus Land, that's slang for the...oh you know that, and Jesus says not to say that, and He doesn't spend as much time here as one might think? Oh, sorry, ok. Well anyway, I don't feel very safe here at times for speaking up. You know, that feels like 1939. I think I know what some might have been feeling back then. I hope I am wrong.

Anyway, I hope you get my drift. Something is really wrong with the way the few of us have handled the rest of us and how they are treating the others who make up all of us. Oh, Oh....aren't these a hoot.

"Iraq Is All but Won; Now What?" (Los Angeles Times headline, 4/10/03)

"We're proud of our president. Americans love having a guy as president, a guy who has a little swagger, who's physical, who's not a complicated guy like Clinton or even like Dukakis or Mondale, all those guys, McGovern. They want a guy who's president. Women like a guy who's president. Check it out. The women like this war. I think we like having a hero as our president. It's simple. We're not like the Brits." (MSNBC's Chris Matthews, 5/1/03)

"Now that the war in Iraq is all but over, should the people in Hollywood who opposed the president admit they were wrong?" (Fox News Channel's Alan Colmes, 4/25/03)

"Well, the hot story of the week is victory.... The Tommy Franks-Don Rumsfeld battle plan, war plan, worked brilliantly, a three-week war with mercifully few American deaths or Iraqi civilian deaths.... There is a lot of work yet to do, but all the naysayers have been humiliated so far.... The final word on this is, hooray." (Fox News Channel's Morton Kondracke, 4/12/03)

Well I could go on with that, but won't. I don't care what anyone says, today feels like it felt when I was a kid and Vietnam was being won and getting better and better every day. Anyway, things have kind of changed in the last three years since we won the war and the peace in Iraq and now want to go ahead and win it in Iran too. I hope all of us are listening to the rest of us so most of us don't end up wishing the few of us had never been born. Could you inspire the few of us to meet with the few of them while the rest of us watch so that they don't kill all of us with all the peacemaking that is going on.

Well, that's about it for now. Any suggestions and can you help us out here? I'm going to a memorial service for those Americans killed in Iraq, but I think it's going to be an annual thing. The first one I went to we lit 2000 candles on a street corner in town and few showed up. Now we are going again to lite around 2500 and some of us hear that the few of them aren't telling any of us the real numbers. Gosh, I wonder how long it would take to light 100,000 candles or even hundreds of thousands? Yikes, the sun would come up before we got them all lit! Anyway, I don't enjoy these rather quiet events. Haven't seen a minister or local politician at one yet.

One person told me their nephew came home from Iraq and hasn't had a sober day since. Oh well, I can't do anything about it so that's why I'm asking you to help us out if you have time. If you have something like an X-Men team or Bat-Angel or Super-Someone you send in such cases, now would be a good time. And I don't think that you need to bring down the whole planet to get all of us to wake up when most of us are awake and it's the few of us that all of us feel you need to have a chat with. So can you help us out here. Nome sayin?

Warm Regards from Most of Us who only wish peace, hope, prosperity and understanding for All of Us, not just for a Few of Us.


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