Tuesday, January 1, 2008

New Year's Resolutions Already Broken

Ha-ha-ha!!

"Some resolutions must be broken"

"Tuesday, January 01, 2008

The only thing worse than a columnist's annual New Year's resolutions column is the resolution not to write another New Year's resolutions column.

As I write these words on the final morning of 2007, the first of my newly minted resolutions for 2008 is already in danger of falling by the wayside.

Resolution 1: Don't think or write anything bad about people you don't know and haven't met personally. People and institutions are basically well-meaning and not as evil as you make them out to be.

Resolution 1 violation: Very loud epithet prompted by news that The New York Times has put William Kristol, founding editor of The Weekly Standard and one of the intellectual architects of the Iraq war, into its rotation of regular op-ed columnists.

Because Mr. Kristol has a nearly unbroken track record of being wrong about everything regarding the Iraq war, it's difficult to understand why the nation's most influential newspaper would give him such a prestigious platform.

Heckuva job, Billy. Pull up a desk next to Paul Krugman, Frank Rich, Maureen Dowd, Nicholas Kristof, David Brooks, Bob Herbert and Gail Collins. Don't be too dismayed by the stature gap. Even though you obviously wore out your welcome at Time magazine, you're still "good enough" for the most influential op-ed page in the nation.

Because the Times believes it desperately needs an apologist for the Iraq war to balance its opinion page, wouldn't it have made more sense to recruit someone like Christopher Hitchens for the slot?

Though Mr. Hitchens has disappointed many of his former compatriots on the left by supporting the Bush administration's folly in Iraq, he is seldom as predictable as the neoconservatives. His eloquence and insight remain undiminished by his contrarian politics.

His recent incarnation as an apostle of atheism (with his surprise bestseller "God Is Not Great") would have made him an inspired provocateur for the Times' op-ed page and a worthy foil for columnists and readers on the left and right.

Did someone slip something into the water at the nation's top newspapers and magazines? Recently, Newsweek announced that Karl Rove was joining its stable of columnists. In November, former Sen. Rick Santorum began to write a biweekly column for The Philadelphia Inquirer.

Now that journalism is officially the last refuge of a scoundrel, it wouldn't shock me if even the venerable New Yorker announced that Sen. Larry Craig would take over "Talk of the Town" duties once he retired from Congress.

Now, for Resolution No. 2: I'm happy to report that as of yesterday afternoon, I hadn't uttered a single profanity or taken the name of anyone's God in vain for at least six hours.

Ask anyone who works in a newsroom. They'll tell you that a morning and afternoon without swearing is an amazing accomplishment when you're dealing with reprobates, rapscallions and villains of all persuasions -- and that's just other reporters.

My "no swearing" resolution is part of a renewed commitment on my part to treat co-workers -- who loosely qualify as people, I suppose -- with more respect.

And there's Resolution No. 2a: While I'm holding my tongue, I've also resolved to be a better American. I will no longer assume the worst about those who subscribe to a political philosophy I don't share -- with the possible exception of fascism.

I resolve to be the kind of citizen who can read Bill Kristol's weekly column in the Times and say, "Hey, he made a point that's worth considering. He's broadened my perspective that much more."

Once I check his opinions against the facts, I'm sure I can resume my natural skepticism. But for a few minutes, I look forward to a copacetic moment or two even with the likes of Mr. Kristol.

But I cannot tell a lie this early in the New Year: The true test of my tolerance will be when I can read one of Ann Coulter's columns without retching violently.

If we can listen to Michael Savage late at night and recognize his routine for the horrifying kitsch that it is, then no one is really beyond the pale in America.

Happy New Year!"