Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Memory Hole: MLK Day Thoughts

(Updated: Originally posted January 15, 2007)

Now here is my Memory Hole from one year ago:

Happy Birthday, Dr. King!

You are the greatest man who existed during my lifetime.

Unfortunately, my country's values totally counter what you preached.

Yet, we continue with the self-adulation in our ceremonies for you, all the while being "the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today."

Dr. King's true message was revealed to me in the fall of 2001, right after the 9/11 attacks.

At that time, I was attending a small rural school and the instructor -- whom I consider a very important person that has passed through my life, although they will never know that -- veered from the planned lessons and distributed several of Dr. King's materials.

I'm not going to break down the letters from jail or the non-violent philosophy because I already hold those views, but the instructor to which I referred struck a chord in me, unleashing a torrent of thoughts, emotions and passions.

This person has come the closest anyone ever has to understanding me.

It has taken me five years to realize this; however, despite the short-lived and turbulent experience (they were gone from my life within a months), I now -- in some ways pathetically -- feel stronger than ever about them.

Sadly, I can not reclaim or repair that past, even if I knew how.

Therefore, Martin Luther King's birthday reminds me of more than civil rights, non-violence and peace. It reminds me of a very special person, and as I wish for peace for Dr. King, I find myself asking for forgiveness from a person I feel I treated badly as I tried to hang on to that which was slipping away.

I truly pray they are O.K. I truly mean that, Lord. They will never know it, and the attempt may be corrupt or futile; however, I send them all the solace I can summon and direct it into the cosmos and towards them.

Surprisingly, it is one year later, and as I blog in abject loneliness, my feelings for this person are stronger than ever -- even as they further fade and recede from my life.

So Happy Birthday, Dr. King, and serenity and peace to the special person who has been the subject of my reminiscences.

Please watch over and protect them, Lord.

Please make them happy, since that would make at least one of us at this point.