Layla Anwar, An Arab Woman Blues
I was once called a black Widow...that's fine with me...I consider my ex-husband as good as dead. And I stopped mourning him on the day of our divorce. Have you ever seen anyone mourn Chernobyl ? Well my ex was the second disaster after Chernobyl or should I say Iraq ?Baghdad's widows on the other hand, don't share the same predicament. They are not "black widows" by choice.
I was watching a program the other day, and they interviewed a couple of those "black widows". It's funny, how the black obliterates all sects, all classes, all backgrounds...it's funny how black obliterates it all...
There was this woman, very beautiful, living in a slum..slum is too nice of a word..her "home" consisted of a few bricks covered with plastic garbage bags, for a roof top...
She was a mother of 4. Her husband was tortured and killed by the death squads/militias. She borrowed money and built a little kiosk selling colored balloons...the puppet government's bulldozers arrived one morning and bulldozed her kiosk, her only income...
She said : " I don't want anything for myself...but who will feed my kids ? If Maliki is incapable of paying attention to us (widows) then let him leave that golden chair of his, and let someone else take over...I need to feed my kids. "
Another woman was also interviewed, same scene, pools of sewage, mountains of garbage surrounding her "home", which consisted again of a few bricks covered with plastic for a roof top...
Same story, husband killed by militias...left all alone, lost her family, her home, her job...and had to care for several kids...She cried and cried...the cameraman filmed her and produced a scoop...Tonight, she is still alone, crying...
Many stories...too many. If I tap into that, if I tap into the abandonment, if I tap into the scarcity, if I tap into the solitude, if I tap into the pain and the loss, if I tap into the grief...I will run out of pages.
I am not ready to lift that lid from that well...
Besides, words are words...they did not affect you before, they will not affect you today. Neither words, nor a thousand pictures...
I have become solution oriented...Sometimes the solutions are like some loose patchwork, sometimes they are just a band aid...sometimes they are very imperfect...but this is our Reality and this is what IS.
Facts, you hate them...I love them. Facts, you abhor them, I turn them into statues of worship because they are REALITY - OUR REALITY - OUR TRUTH.
A bit of history for you.
After the Iraq-Iran war, when we had over 1 Million of our men killed fighting off the madness of Iranian Khomeinism, which finally took over Iraq thanks to the American occupation...
After those 8 years of a bleeding war, President Saddam Hussein agreed for the re-insertion of polygamy i.e marrying a second wife, in parallel to the State providing for widows of the Iraq-Iran war : pensions, a piece of land, and having all their financial needs looked after by the State - from their children schooling to everything else; for being wives of martyrs.
President Saddam Hussein was greatly criticized by so called Feminists for this move in that particular context. The allegation was/is, by so called feminists one of them, an Iraqi American, who goes by the name of Zainab Salbi - is " Saddam reintroduced polygamy" thus usurping women's rights, that he and his regime have themselves encouraged and enacted...
Of course Zainab Salbi fails to mention that the ratio of women to men was more than double...in other words there were more women than men...then, in the aftermath of the Iraq-Iran war.
Well, Zainab Salbi was blessed by the Clinton administration...I guess that absolves her blatant ignorance about the fate of Iraqi women, even though she tries to purport herself as the expert of that cause, amongst her western feminist circles...
That was then...
Today the ratio is 10 women or so to 1 men. Today, after 2003...after our "liberation". It's funny how our liberation finished off our men and tortured, raped and made widows out of our women. Don't you think ?
So what do Western "feminists" suggest, including the Zainab Salbi's of this world ?
While they're living safely and well tucked away in England and in the U.S, pontificating about women's rights...
The puppet Iraqi government that the majority of Western feminists and their lapdogs either supported or failed to out rightly condemn, is no longer supporting it's 2-3 million widows, 2-3 million widows since 2003...It has simply abandoned them.
Abandoned women to gangs, militias, prostitution, trafficking, poverty, disease, forgetfulness, indifference, callousness...
And we have junk feminists, assuring us that the Iraqi parliament has a ratio of 25% of puppet/junk females.
Who cares about puppet women? There are well over 2 million widows in Baghdad alone.
So what do you suggest "dear" sisters of Feminism ? What do you and your female lapdogs suggest ?
What theory will you come up with now ? How many hours, days, weeks, and years of debate do you need to come up with a solution ?
Because I want a solution...and fuck your theories.
Even though some Iraqi widows are forcing themselves into accepting marriage as second wives to feed their kids...many others are totally marginalized and forgotten...
What woman does not hate polygamous men ? All of us do...deep down, even the most "religious" amongst us.
But there is a greater Wisdom than yours and mine...
Polygamy or more aptly bigamy in the case of "liberated" Iraq and it's million of widows is a blessing.
Yes it is.
Widows, war widows, in a country torn to pieces thanks to you and your fucking democracy...are AS ENTITLED as any woman and as any Western woman to a decent life.
Baghdad's widows are entitled to husbands/partners, mates, fathers for their kids, support, emotional bonding, sex and the rest...
And those who are WILLING to be remarried, should be encouraged...
And in a country where your "brave" U.S men and "revolutionary" Iranian "Islamic" militias massacred thousands of our men, leaving 1 man to 10 women, then it is your duty to support Iraq's widows. Not just materially, but also morally...
And if that means a return of male polygamy/bigamy...then so be it.
In my opinion, it would be most hypocritical to bark about women's rights and assume that Iraq's widows will have to be relegated to lives of stoic austerity and celibacy just to fulfill your ideal of what gender relationships should be like -- when you yourselves, are unable to reach it in a state of "peace", i.e when you're not living or are products of war-occupation torn/massacred societies.
Besides, why are you so shocked ? 3/4 or more, if not more, of your men have affairs, outside of marriage/and so-called "committed relationships"...leaving you and her in the Dark/Obscurity for months and years...At least in our case, it's all legal and in the Light.
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