"From a meaningless life to a meaningless death
Najwa Sheikh Ahmed, Nusierat Camp, Gaza Strip
The sky is still blue as I remember, I haven’t seen it since three days, I almost forgot how beautiful it looks in a sunny day in winter, I wish I cold walk on the beach and enjoy some peace.
I moved with my husband, my kids to his family house since three days, we left our beach apartment where the view is very nice to find a secure place, where the kids can not hear the loud sound of the explosions and wake up frightened and crying. I can not give them any assurances that tomorrow will be better for them, and that they will be save. They stopped asking us when this going to have an end, and when they can be back to their normal life as children.
The images are always the same, except this time more violent, and evil, therefore we stopped enjoying anything after the Israeli war against the civilians in Gaza. Neither me nor my kids can stand the sound of the continuous bombing by the Israeli war machines. It is more worse during the night, the kids started to go to bed very early to avoid hearing the voices of F16 bombing, you can not imagine how scary it is to hear the whistling of the missiles before they hit, you feel in every hit that you are the target this time and you count the seconds before they hit. All what we can do is o thank Allah when we all wake up safe the next morning. Then we have an other day to live!
I used to listen how people hate wars, for all the pains they leave in the hearts and souls. War is very cruel, and we the Palestinian refugees witness the cruelty of war more than once, but this time It is the cruelest among it all, where there is no mercy at all, no difference between a child, an old man or even an innocent, unborn fetus, all are criminals and deserve to die according to the Israeli board.
I stopped hoping for an end, my kids stopped feeling scared since they saw the photos broadcasted on the news, children, families, are all the victims of the Israeli hate, and inhumanity, Life became meaningless not only for us but also for our children therefore we only wait when it is our turn to join the list, as an additional number, nothing more, but just a number.
With one wish to die as one family together so no one of us can live the bitterness of losing the other!!!
January 7, 2009 http://www.un.org/unrwa/refugees/stories/2008/LFG.html By Najwa Sheikh Ahmed, Nusierat Camp, Gaza Strip. Najwa Sheikh's blog: http://www.najwa.tk/
Oh, did that last sentence ever do a number on me and lead to the title of this post.
Related: A letter from a mother in Gaza to a mother in Sderot
Open letter from Palestinian Refugee Family living in the Gaza Strip, SOS
Immigration within the camp