"An Open Letter from "Joe SixPack" to you Middle East types
i am writing this letter to clear up some confuzion that you people seem to have about us Americans. My favorite newz chanel, FOX, has been reporting some donnright nasty things said by you people about us Americans.
You people seem to think that we all a bunc of half-wits, with no idea how to vote or even tink.
i'll have you now that i almost graduatted from high school. Hell, i would have excpet my girlfriend got pregnant and we had to get married.
So, bub, who you calling a half wit? Huh? Why i'll have you now i reed evey isue of Natinal Enquirer from cover to cover and have a paid subscr... uhs subs.. uhh oh hell, i get "People" migazine evey munth.
i can tell you the most intimit details about Britney or Paris or Lindsey. i can recite from memori the NASCAR cup winners from the last 5 years.
To keep up on what else you people are up to, i lizzen to the godly John Haggee. O'l John has the inside skinny on you folks and let me tell you, it aint good.
That "Man of God" Reverd John, is telling us wez all get raptured up to heaven, as soon as our great leeder and devout Christian, GW Bush, nukes a few millionz of you rug heads, then our Jesus will welcom us with open arms. Hows them apples?
i just love to listen to Limbaugh and O'Rielly who tell us Americans the truth about you people.
So how's the half wit know, huh?
As for the EyeIragi invasion, i don't care how many of you pesky Ayyrabs we gotta kill, as long as i can buy gasoline for less than $3 dollars a gallon.
Sorry to cut this lettr short, but i'm late for my church's "Christians United for Israel" meeting. Were i'll get more solid factz on you people.
Signed
Joe SixPack
Barf County, Oklahoma
P.S. Although this was written "tongue-in-cheek" as satire, believe me, it's not that far from the truth in many places in the USA, especially the part labeled the "Bible Belt."
That's where around 70 million christians known as Evangelicals and or Pentecostals reside and believe me, they pray for those nukes to start falling so they'll all be "Raptured" up to their version of heaven. These "devout" christians don't give a damn how many people have to be turned into charred corpses, as long as they can experience the "Rapture."
A curious side note to this madness: In the King James version of the bible, the word Rapture is never mentioned."
